Patience and the Good Life

Waiting can be hard. Or, waiting can be easy. What makes the difference?

Waiting becomes hard when unanticipated circumstances are giant boulders that 'get in the way' blocking present wants and hindering immediate gratification. Waiting becomes easy when unforeseen events are stepping stones that 'mark the way' leading to adventure and pointing out opportunity. Attitude accounts for a large part of the difference.

Which brings to mind the saying, "perception is everything". Perception is event filtered through thought which generates response. From this perspective waiting can be the perfect opportunity to practice and deepen impatience or practice and develop patience.

Take grocery shopping for example.

First, parking. Unless shopping is done early in the morning or late at night invariably the only parking left is farthest from the front door. When a close parking space is available someone comes from out of nowhere and nabs it.

What to do?
Focus on the distance and complain about the hike ahead?
or consider good health and relish the chance for some extra exercise?
Concentrate on injustice and chew out the parking space napper?
or ask a prayer of blessing on the distracted driver unaware of intrusion?

Second, shopping. At the deli, bakery, or meat counter its usually crowded with three or four shoppers already in line or worse, there's NO ONE around and ringing the service bell doesn't bring help.

What now?
Focus on wasted time, sigh deeply and complain rudely so everyone hears?
or strike up a friendly conversation with someone else waiting in line?
Ring the bell louder, yell for help, complain to the manager?
or pick up nearby items, watch for help to return, finish shopping and come back later?

Third, check out. When in a hurry and only two or three lines are open during a rush it seems the short line always takes the longest. Inevitably price checks, clerk exchanges, credit card denials, manager approvals, or cash register tape replacements happen in the short line. Out smarting the system in a longer line only results in the short line moving smoothly while the longer line is stalled by a lost wallet or a toddler in a tantrum.

What's next?

Think about incompetence and make snide comments about the checker, the store manager, or the customer?
or empathize recalling times things didn't go right and pass the time offering a helping hand, or perusing an interesting magazine?

Last, leaving. Sometimes so many loose carts surround a car while the cart return, six stalls away on the next row, stands empty. Unloading the grocery cart necessitates removing the metal huddle holding the car hostage.

How to handle?
Concentrate on the rudeness of other shoppers and roughly push the cart out of the way in between or up against others cars while cursing?
or consider how much easier it would be for everyone to load groceries if the carts were neatly lined in the cart return?

Let's put ourselves in this last one and say we chose patience ...

After placing six neatly lined carts in the return we notice the car parked next to us left, but a minivan pulled in. A young mother gets out of the drivers seat, goes around her van between the two cars, and starts unloading her children. Coming closer we see the owner of the Suburban on the other side of our car pushed our cart forward to get his side door open. He is unloading his own cart blocking ours in. We have no access to our cart or car.

Now we realize the young mother is struggling to put toddler twins in a stroller while her two other children are playing behind the minivan. Staying in mom's line of sight we compliment her children and keep them entertained while she buckles in the twins. With a smile and a thank you she gathers the two children to help her push the stroller as they head safely and happily into the store.

Turning back toward the Suburban we notice gratefully the man is done unloading his cart. He catches our eye and apologizes for being in the way while placing our cart where we left it, then takes his own to the cart return. By the time he's back our car is unlocked, the back door open and we are loading our groceries. He cheerfully hands us things from our cart then offers to return ours.

As we drive away we think how kind this stranger was and hope we remembered to thank him. Reviewing the last hour and a half we decide the Suburban stranger is our reward for handling, once again, our familiar grocery store routine with finesse, cheerfulness and patience.

Waiting -- a life reality. Hindrance or opportunity? You decide.